Who is this?

It looks like my last post was roughly three years ago and the post before that was super old as well. What can I say? Life and the horrible state of our nation has me busy and demotivated all at once. I’m hesitant to post and share about anything because honestly, I am just tired and oftentimes, disappointed with human beings. I’d like to think that those with opinions that are different from mine would be open to hearing, rather than just listening. Anyhow, we may get to that in a later post. For now, here is a quick overview of life in the last three years. My family and I have a YouTube channel that I am also, very inconsistent at uploading to, however, there is a ton of content. Go ahead and subscribe!

I changed my hair a few times, and by a few, I mean more than three.

Here we have a super lame facial expression with red-brown color. Who is this? Why is she looking at me like this?

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After this, I found out I was pregnant and I am the worst pregnant person in the world who refuses to do my hair or wear any makeup because it is awful and I am always tired. As you can see, I have the color in my hair in this picture.

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Viola, my hair is black and I look just as happy as I did in the previous picture.

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About three months after I had Helena, I was going back to work, time to change the hair again. Insert the word that I can never pronounce, balayage (aka, hand painted, expensive, highlights). Oh and I was convinced to color my eyebrows that looks exactly the same to me, just $20 more expensive then my regular eyebrow color, which was free, thank you genetics.

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Beautiful! Lovely! Stunning! That is, before the infamous, post-baby shed began. No photos or evidence of that was documented.

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MORE BALAYAGE!!

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I balayage’d my hair so hard that I ended up with an ombre and fried hair! I was done with it and by done, I mean, well, just look at the next picture.

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I hacked that hair off into a lob (apologies for the picture quality). Well, not me, a trained, over $100 a pop, professional.

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After that, i figured that I didn’t ‘lob’ hard enough but couldn’t afford an expensive lob so I went to a cheaper ‘lobber’.

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This lob was a bit too dramatic for my life, the back was pretty short. So what did I do? The unthinkable! I said forget this, cut it all off! Thankfully, the shop that I frequent serves wine in the evening and I sure needed it. My hair has never been this short.

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Do I like it? Sometimes. I like how quickly I can dry it and style it. Sometimes it will not all fit into a ponytail and that is annoying. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I’ve never had hair this short and I need it to ‘grow’ on me. I am growing it back out from this length and will not be cutting it for at least one year. My stylist thinks we will ‘trim’ it in September but she doesn’t know me that well.

Other life things that happened, Oh yea, the baby. 🙂 She is closer to two than a baby but her she is! She LOVES to put my shirts on like they are dresses.

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We got a new puppy! Joshua named him Kobe and he is… well, a puppy.

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He is great with the kids and they love him. I love him too, I just wish he was 5 years older and a bit more chill.

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Joshua is still the funniest and most energetic kid that I know. He loves with his entire heart and plays with every ounce of energy he has.

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We saw a couple of movies this year, “Murder on the Orient Express” and “Black Panther”. Can I just say, Black Panther was AMAZING!!!!!

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My husband is still, and will always be, very attractive.

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I broke my shoe as soon as I got to work one morning, not that you care but, hey that’s part of my life too.

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There you have it. I don’t know why I decided that my hair changes would be the highlight of the last few years but hey, it is the one thing that I consistently do for myself. Maybe I will post regularly again, maybe I won’t. We will just have to see what happens. I have received notification of new followers and want you to know that I see you and appreciate you!

My Favorite Friday of all! So far…maybe.

Friday has arrived and as usual, it is looking pretty spectacular from my view. I have had a pretty great week as far as getting things accomplished is concerned. Today is my BFF, Kara’s birthday so of course it is the best day ever!!! Time to hit you with some favorites. This video was the funniest thing I have seen in a long time! Will Ferrell just gets me, you know?

I mean, everyone knows how much I love Beyoncé and Will Ferrell; combine the two and I am living the life! Next up, I loved these two blog posts like no one’s business.

Kristen’s post was something that I needed to read this week. It really helped me realize that I need to go ahead and push forward with some of the things I have kept in for awhile out of fear.

Then, through a link-up I found this post by Asia and I knew that I just had to push down those negative voices in my head and get stuff done!

So, yesterday on my blog I made this announcement about a challenge group on Facebook my friend and I have starting on Monday and some T-shirts and Tanks that we designed which are my new favorite!

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Last but not least, these are the funniest/best things I found on Instagram this week. We have to start this one off with my boo John Legend and that one guy, Kanye.

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They are trying to kill the word ‘fleek’, I’m not sure how I feel about this.

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I do this all the time when I am supposed to be watching TV or going to bed.

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We were all talking about this during the superbowl! Just to be anywhere on the field during the half-time performance.

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I been looking for almost 30 years.. not really looking but you know.

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Thanks for hanging in there with me this week as I mainly talked about myself. Hope you have an epic weekend my friends!

Friday Favorites

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Superbowl XLIX Minus the Football Part; Mostly..

If you watched the Super Bowl yesterday than you know that the best part of the game happened in the last minute, Katy Perry wants to be a bag of flaming hot Cheetos, Missy Elliot is the best, and as the commentators continued to point out “when this is all over, someone is going to lose this game.”

John Legend and Elsa, I mean Idina Menzel, taught us that we, in fact, cannot sing. Here is where the real talent is.

Super Bowl XLIX - New England Patriots v Seattle SeahawksThe moment you realize that you just slayed the National Anthem with your bad self!superbowl.9

Then we learned that Marshawn Lynch enjoys Skittles as part of his his pre-game ritual.

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Then some football happened but since the Seahawks were not going to magically change into the Broncos than I didn’t really care what was happening in the first half. I tried to watch the commercials but I didn’t really feel like crying any more this week considering my period is happening and all.

When half time arrived I was prepared for some Katy Perry. I like Katy Perry, she has some pretty great songs!

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Last night, her stylist decided to give us some good laughs and gave the internet a wonderful opportunity to create meme’s rather than watch those lame commercials.

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Then, Missy Elliott came out and I remember what life was like when music was so good that I would get a speeding ticket.

superbowl.5superbowl.6Here are some of my favorite Missy Elliott songs…just because.


Finally, the last minutes of the game. I learned that this, is in fact, a catch.

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This guy really wanted to win the Super Bowl and forced an interception…

superbowl.11These gentlemen obviously didn’t watch the commercials during the game or they would realize that violence is something that the NFL does not condone..superbowl.12But hey, no one minds watching a good battle caused by the ‘roid rage. superbowl.10

There you have it friends, Super Bowl XLIX is over and we can officially prepare for March Madness. What were your favorite Superbowl moments?

Things that made me laugh this week

We could all use a bit of laughter this week. Let’s start out with a popular trend that has been raping my Facebook and Instagram feeds. The ice bucket challenge. The challenge itself doesn’t make me laugh; the epic failures do. Thankfully this link will take you to a site that has compiled these lovely humans into one video. Below are my favorites. Enjoy.

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Steve Harvey was by far, the best reaction to the Ice Bucket Challenge. It’s only one minute. Laugh!

How am I just now finding out about this YouTuber ? She is hilarious and posts videos twice per week. This is my favorite so far. It makes me laugh, out loud, with no sound.. it’s that good.

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 Here is the full video.

 

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Those were just a few quick glimpses. I was going to give you more but I got tired of making GIFs. It takes some time to get the times correct. I hope these made you laugh today. They are some of my new fav’s. See everyone Monday.

Friday Favorites

Thugged out confessions

I confess to screaming Thug Life when I am doing absolutely nothing thug related. We all have to dream right?

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I confess to being addicted to Shellac and not knowing how I will survive when my current nail situation comes off. I am trying not to spend money on things I don’t need and shellac, I don’t need. I do NEED pedicures though. I can shred a sheet in one nights sleep if I don’t take care of these bad boys.

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I confess to peeing on public toilet seats 92% of the time. I squat over the seat and I don’t pay attention to my aim. I wipe it off when I am finished… Better then some of you that leave your poop behind. Just nasty.

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I confess to Instagram stalking anyone that may have a slight bit of drama going on in their life. Famous or not. I can’t help it. We all know reality TV isn’t real but Instagram is. It is always real and it is always true. No one ever uses filters on Instagram, ever.

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I confess to watching the Disney channel alone at night. I was going to completely disconnect my cable and internet but I just couldn’t. Instead I saved about $30 month by cutting back to the family plan. Meaning I can’t watch anything except Jessie or Girl Meets World late at night. I’m not even mad about it. Until football season starts. Then I may cry.

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I confess to having worked out ZERO times this week. I helped my mom move over the weekend and mowed my lawn.. both of which made me feel super exhausted… bad excuse; I’m aware.

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There you have it. Go check out these link-ups and have a great Wednesday!

Vodka and Soda
The Hump Day Blog Hop

These are my confessions

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I confess that I had no idea who Ian was the entire month that I have been participating in the confessions link up. I finally googled him today. He was on Lost and the Vampire Diaries. I didn’t watch either of those shows so I don’t feel as bad for not knowing who he was.

I confess to sleeping way past my alarm everyday this week and not giving a truck. This comes just a few short days after telling my bf that I am going to put more effort into getting ready for work.

I confess that I don’t care if you can still see the pillow print on my cheek when I get to work in the morning.

I confess to considering writing about Kanye again today but I figured you may just be tired of it.

I confess to stalking Glassdoor.com to read all the reviews about my former employer and then getting mad when someone has something good to say. Lies! All lies!

I confess to eating a sausage biscuit this morning instead of protein and fruit. It wasn’t that good.

I confess to eating Chipotle for the first time yesterday. I’ve been on Qdoba forever and it felt wrong but it tasted so good! If Chipotle had queso I may never go back to Qdoba… but they don’t.

I confess to rarely proofreading my blog posts before I hit publish and then I have to go back and edit it at least 2-27 times. Terrible habit.

I confess to not having anything to really say this week. It seems like I am all out of ideas and its only hump day.

I apologize for the laziness of this post and hope to be inspired to share some amazing reads with you ASAP. If I come up with something good I may just even post twice in one day! Say what?!

The Hump Day Blog Hop

Squatation: the art of sculpting thy buttox

A couple of you asked for some squat tips from the bf and he obliged my request. Before we get into this, we are not trained professionals, so don’t get all butt hurt (literally, or figuratively) if you do something wrong and try to blame me for giving the info. We are all still friends right? After much research and consultation with people we know that know someone else that has, at some point, trained someone in the art of squatation with weights, the following advice was derived to be used as a beginner.

1. Remember: Butt out, chest up.

2. Place feet shoulder width apart resting bar on your shoulders.

3. Keep toes at a comfortable outward position.

4. Keep chest up and hips back in the downward motion as if sitting in a small chair.

5. Stop movement when hips are slightly lower than your knees.

6. Apply pressure with the heels of your feet.  Don’t simply stand but push as if trying to force your heels through the floor.

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The best thing that I learned when my bf was helping me is that when you are in the above position and you are pushing yourself up, pretend that you are trying to push your feet through the floor rather than trying to simply stand up (as mentioned). This method helped me squat more powerfully (if that makes sense.)

I enjoy weight training as a form of working out more so than cardio. I still do cardio because I don’t want to lose it but many people with degrees and stuff say that weight training helps change the shape of your body while losing fat. If I stay consistent enough I can give you some proof. So far this week I have worked out Monday and Tuesday. I may have to sculpt my guns at the office today because I don’t know if I’ll have time to later. Name that quote!!

I’m also considering doing my first GIVEAWAY. Comment if you would love to participate in a giveaway that doesn’t require 89 different steps in order to enter!!

Vodka and Soda

 

The Hump Day Blog Hop

You’re my best friend

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I have a confession. I’ve been keeping my best friend a secret. I know I have talked about a couple of people here and there but I have never just came right out and told you. Beyoncé. There. The truth is out. We even had our children in 2011. She intentionally had a girl after she found out I was having a boy so they can grow up and get married after a love affair similar to the one that played out in the movie “Love and Basketball” (except my son won’t be such a douche at times.)

Today being Wednesday and all I figured I would share with you a time when we got into a disagreement. A few years ago Kanye released this picture of him and Beyoncé saying that she was the best connect four player in the entire world.

beyonce.1Kanye forgot to give me photo cred; I was totally snapping all the shots

Here is Kanye’s statement regarding the game. “So last night at Jay’s new 40/40 club in Las Vegas  she (Beyoncé) beat me 9 times in a row! (and I didn’t even spaz lol) here’s a photo of the only game I won!” -Kanye

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He forgot to mention that I am Beyoncé’s connect four coach and actually gave him a few pointers to beat her. You know how girls are. Beyoncé forgot to invite me to the wedding so I had to retaliate in some way. I considered sneaking into one of her vocal sessions and singing the back up harmonies (since I sound like a dying cat when I sing) to try to sabotage her album sales. Not sure she would get over that as easily. Plus the album would still probably go platinum. Hoes love some Beyoncé.

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When I admitted to my mistake Beyoncé looked at me and said “If you like it then you should of put a ring on it!”

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Just like that, I said here you go. “Rock so big you can’t fit your hand in your new purse.” I know you thought that was Jay but him and I sound very similar when we talk. Sometimes I even stand in on performances with Beyoncé so that he can finish organizing her clothes for her. I mean, she is the queen.

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We have since moved forward and are still great friends. I think Beyoncé may have sabotaged my Connect Four skills however because now, I can’t even win a game when it is written on paper. It’s ok though. I’m just happy we could work through our differences and remain great friends.

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It’s Wednesday. Time for the blog humping and hopping. Let’s get it!

Vodka and Soda
The Hump Day Blog Hop

A Day in the Life of Me…Morning Edition

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My alarm clock starts going off at 6:05am. I hit snooze.

6:13 my alarm goes off again. This time I am confused and can’t figure out how to snooze it. Finally hit snooze again, after what feels like 10 seconds my alarm goes off.

6:22. Snooze it one more time. This is the last time and not by choice.

6:25 My son wakes up saying “Mommy, I had a good sleep.” “Mommy, I want to go in the living room.” “Mommy, I want to watch cartoons while you take a shower.”

6:28 He goes to the potty and then I put him on the couch and turn on cartoons.

6:30 I get naked and stand on the scale. Today I was down (probably all that protein and healthy food I ate yesterday) so that gave me an extra happy step.

6:32 Get in the shower and wash everything as fast as possible because I have to pay for water and I’m not about to take my time.

6:35 My son comes in the bathroom and opens the shower curtain. “Mommy, you takin’ a shower?”…… “Yes, now go back in the living room.”

6:40 Shower over.

6:45 Dry off, lotion up, put on a cami and underwear.

6:47 Moisturizer all over my face, q-tips in my ears

6:48 Spray damage control in my damp hair and start make-up (not much time so it will be a simple make-up/hair day)

6:55 Make-up complete, brushing hair begins

6:58 Blow-dry and brush hair upon completion.

7:05 Put remaining clothes on

7:07 Take lunch out of the refrigerator, turn off the house alarm.

7:08 Change my son, lotion him up and put his shoes on. Sweating begins.

7:12 Get all of my bags (3-4 depending on the days plans) and head to the car.

7:15 Leave to drop my son at daycare

7:28 Arrive a daycare

7:34 Leave daycare and head to work

7:38 Clock in at work

7:39 Check the time and see how long before I get to go home.

7:40 Make protein shake at work and drink that… work day begins

As you can see my morning is lame. Depending on how many times I hit snooze will determine what my hair/make-up are going to be like. There is no time to stop for breaks during the morning routine because I am sure to get as much sleep as humanly possible. I really need to stop hitting snooze so much. What is your morning routine?

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Hey there gorgeous! How you doin’ this morning? Can we talk? I’ll just write and if you aren’t feeling it, then just send it right back.

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It’s been mentioned a time or two that I have addictions to things that are not necessarily productive in life but may also not be really detrimental either. My first addiction, while seemingly harmless can take a decent amount of time out of real life. My name is Christina, and I am addicted to taking pictures, being in pictures, selfies, delfies (two people in a selfie), pictures of my son, the sky, the ground, gross things, funny things, and even dreadfully awful things. Why is my first thought when I see something that I need to take a picture of it? I may not even post it to social media but I feel the need to take a picture.

It’s like sometimes I feel that I have to have evidence in order for people to believe what I have seen even if the picture adds no value to the story. When I first joined Facebook I was obnoxious about it. There are entire albums worth of photo shoots of my friends and I in virtually the exact same pose, the same night, in the same outfit. Why? ….. blank stare.

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Who wants to see more than one picture of you and said friend in the same basic pose just with a different facial expression. Hey there, look at me, I can do things with my face other then smile. See!

2007.1 2007.2 2007.3See, I told ya.. what are we even doing in this one? There are about 10 more pics in this album on Facebook

I have now jumped to the other side of the spectrum and just love to slightly tilt my head to the left, raise my eyebrows just enough to not look like a creep and give a beautiful fake smile. My real smile isn’t all that great in my opinion because when I give it to you real my top lip disappears into my mouth and my eyes almost close completely. If you can still see the color of my eyes then I am not really smiling. It’s fake.

I can take 27,421 pictures of myself without batting an eyelid. If I ask someone else to take a picture of me you might as well have just walked in to awkward kingdom because now I’m like a baby deer taking its first steps. What do I do with my face? Hands? body? Why are you looking at me like that? Oh yea, you are taking my picture. Why does this feel so weird? I look like a creepy, psycho stalker now.

full lengthLook at her face. What? My arms? and of course that little foot down there? What’s happening?

I’m even fairly decent in group photos as well because I know the camera person is not solely focused on me. Instagram is my best friend right now. Maybe that is because I haven’t reached the type of following that brings criticism along. I don’t know if that will make me love it more or hate it. I’m pretty great at giving out verbal lashings but rarely let them flow past my lips. It’s in everyone’s best interest if I just keep those thoughts securely locked up. After all, most of the time it is just not true but very clever. I’ve got quite the quick wit. Dont’ believe me? Check my crazy twitter rant where I decided to @StateFarm because I am so upset with them currently.

Anyway. Let’s all move on from this post. It’s really quite tragic and not all that interesting. Thanks for sticking with me friend.