Self-conscious selfie’s

It has been awhile since I have taken any full body pictures and posted them on the internet. I don’t know if it is because I am now 30 and feel that I should have a better physique than I do or what. I will post a picture like this one.

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It shows mostly my face and I even crop out my forehead. Not that I really care that it is big, I just needed to make the picture fit. I’ve been no stranger to posting pictures of myself on the internet after a sweaty workout. I just haven’t done that in a very long time. I guess you could say that I am now self conscious about everything. I don’t feel like it has always been this way. I don’t even know what is making me feel this way. I want so badly to actually complete my fitness goals and stay on track but I sabotage myself. I allow my mind to make an excuse that will allow me to have this unhealthy food, or that unhealthy food. I just want to be at peace with myself and be happy about it. I have never really struggled with fitness all that much. My biggest problem is the cheesy goodness that I love to put in my mouth. Add that to the bread and tortillas and you have got yourself one unhealthy combination.

So, in light of being transparent and trying to be real with myself and the world. I have started a second Instagram account. One that I will only post fitness related photos to. I will still have my main account: cmarq01 if you want to follow that one. My new fitness IG is Christinafits. I chose this name because I want to fit whatever my goal is. I want to fit my own image of health and beauty. I want to stop looking at other people and then thinking that I am fat. Basically, I want to fit in with myself and not care if I fit in with everyone else. That sounds so simple but in fact, it will probably be the most difficult thing that I have ever done. If all goes well, I will hopefully start a YouTube channel after my wedding to document my journey. I need to see that I am doing something better. I can’t just look at pictures. Without further ado… here is a screenshot of my first photo for the new Instagram account. Completely stripped down and self-conscious. I’m working on changing my #selfconsciousselfie to #confidentselfie. Lets see how long it takes. Who’s with me?

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Selfie

It has been awhile (at least I think) since I hit you with a selfie, let’s do it. Here is what my face looks like today. #Ididn’twakeuplikedis #Itookashowerdoe

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I try not to make eye contact with the camera, I prefer to look at myself rather than the hole at the top of the phone. Who wants to look at holes anyway? Am I right?

I need your assistance in making a decision or two. I am getting a bit antsy about changing my hair color. I’m having a difficult time adjusting to this fade color. When I curl my hair it looks great because most of the amazing color is hidden and difficult to see without some curlage. The thing is, I don’t usually get up early enough to curl my hair on weekdays because, well, sleep. Here is where you come in. Should I color my hair back to the red it was a few months ago?

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Go to this color which is basically black with purple in it. This way, when I am in the sun or bright lights I look like a majestic creature.

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Or just make a very subtle change with a bit more consistency in the color like this..

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I know I ask you guys all the time but I really need help. I can’t make this decision on my own! I need you!

Fit Confessions

Lately I have been getting pretty focused on my health and fitness journey. My friend Kara and I have been accountability partners since before I can even remember. One requirement is a sweaty selfie to the other describing the workout in detail. This pictures can be pretty hilarious since most of the time we just snap and go. I however, am the one that from time to time tries to be all professional and send an over the top smolder. I confess, I am a gym rat riding in a douche canoe.

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Case number one. I’m not even looking at the mirror, I’m ‘pretending’ to look at the phone but actually, I am really trying to give a good ‘I just worked out real hard’ face. Check out those baby guns I am carrying around.

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In this photo, I decided to give my good friend the bedroom eyes. Why? I don’t know. It only took like 17 attempts to get this post-workout photo.

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This is a good one. I was still running and wanted to go ahead and get it done so that when I was done, I was done. Not to mention I was pushing my son in the jogging stroller while running/snapping a pic. Click here for a post that has photo’s of the jogging stroller I use. It’s the best ever.

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Clearly I was trying to see into my friends soul for this picture. I was proud of that sweat drip I had going on and at the same time wanted to be a tad sassy.

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I look so angry about life in this picture. Who did I just cross paths with to make me look like I could hurt someone? I think this is just my normal face that causes everyone to ask me why I am mad. Or when people say they thought I was mean when they first met me.

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Lastly, we have the creepy late night sweating in the car picture. Same expression as above so I guess that’s just my face and I need to accept it and move forward. I typically delete the photos the same day I take them to leave space for my other selfies and pictures of my son. I am sure that some of them were even better than the above.

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Stole this from Skinny Meg’s October Challenge that I am doing because its true; well, I like to do my sets of selfies at the end of my workout. Pretty much my cool down.

Currently I am participating in two fitness challenge with a third starting on Tuesday. Apparently in order for me to be successful I need to be accountable to about 150 people. The first challenge that I am doing started about 5 weeks ago and is through my employer. We have to weigh in every Tuesday in front of someone. Talk about the pressure. There are prizes and stuff for this class and I love competition so I basically have to win. Skinny Meg’s October challenge just started today and runs through October 9th. This has weekly requirements to ensure that you are staying on track and if you do not participate you can be removed from the group. Finally, I start another diet bet on Tuesday, October, 7th. I’ve also thought about doing a 5k this month but I think I would have to do it alone since my usual running partner is busy. Maybe I can put it off until November…

If I don’t lose weight with all of this going on then I obviously need to have a mental evaluation of some sort.

What helps you stay accountable? Do you send sweaty selfies to anyone?

 

Vodka and Soda

Photo bomberish

Hey there gorgeous! How you doin’ this morning? Can we talk? I’ll just write and if you aren’t feeling it, then just send it right back.

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It’s been mentioned a time or two that I have addictions to things that are not necessarily productive in life but may also not be really detrimental either.┬áMy first addiction, while seemingly harmless can take a decent amount of time out of real life. My name is Christina, and I am addicted to taking pictures, being in pictures, selfies, delfies (two people in a selfie), pictures of my son, the sky, the ground, gross things, funny things, and even dreadfully awful things. Why is my first thought when I see something that I need to take a picture of it? I may not even post it to social media but I feel the need to take a picture.

It’s like sometimes I feel that I have to have evidence in order for people to believe what I have seen even if the picture adds no value to the story. When I first joined Facebook I was obnoxious about it. There are entire albums worth of photo shoots of my friends and I in virtually the exact same pose, the same night, in the same outfit. Why? ….. blank stare.

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Who wants to see more than one picture of you and said friend in the same basic pose just with a different facial expression. Hey there, look at me, I can do things with my face other then smile. See!

2007.1 2007.2 2007.3See, I told ya.. what are we even doing in this one? There are about 10 more pics in this album on Facebook

I have now jumped to the other side of the spectrum and just love to slightly tilt my head to the left, raise my eyebrows just enough to not look like a creep and give a beautiful fake smile. My real smile isn’t all that great in my opinion because when I give it to you real my top lip disappears into my mouth and my eyes almost close completely. If you can still see the color of my eyes then I am not really smiling. It’s fake.

I can take 27,421 pictures of myself without batting an eyelid. If I ask someone else to take a picture of me you might as well have just walked in to awkward kingdom because now I’m like a baby deer taking its first steps. What do I do with my face? Hands? body? Why are you looking at me like that? Oh yea, you are taking my picture. Why does this feel so weird? I look like a creepy, psycho stalker now.

full lengthLook at her face. What? My arms? and of course that little foot down there? What’s happening?

I’m even fairly decent in group photos as well because I know the camera person is not solely focused on me. Instagram is my best friend right now. Maybe that is because I haven’t reached the type of following that brings criticism along. I don’t know if that will make me love it more or hate it. I’m pretty great at giving out verbal lashings but rarely let them flow past my lips. It’s in everyone’s best interest if I just keep those thoughts securely locked up. After all, most of the time it is just not true but very clever. I’ve got quite the quick wit. Dont’ believe me? Check my crazy twitter rant where I decided to @StateFarm because I am so upset with them currently.

Anyway. Let’s all move on from this post. It’s really quite tragic and not all that interesting. Thanks for sticking with me friend.