Self-conscious selfie’s

It has been awhile since I have taken any full body pictures and posted them on the internet. I don’t know if it is because I am now 30 and feel that I should have a better physique than I do or what. I will post a picture like this one.

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It shows mostly my face and I even crop out my forehead. Not that I really care that it is big, I just needed to make the picture fit. I’ve been no stranger to posting pictures of myself on the internet after a sweaty workout. I just haven’t done that in a very long time. I guess you could say that I am now self conscious about everything. I don’t feel like it has always been this way. I don’t even know what is making me feel this way. I want so badly to actually complete my fitness goals and stay on track but I sabotage myself. I allow my mind to make an excuse that will allow me to have this unhealthy food, or that unhealthy food. I just want to be at peace with myself and be happy about it. I have never really struggled with fitness all that much. My biggest problem is the cheesy goodness that I love to put in my mouth. Add that to the bread and tortillas and you have got yourself one unhealthy combination.

So, in light of being transparent and trying to be real with myself and the world. I have started a second Instagram account. One that I will only post fitness related photos to. I will still have my main account: cmarq01 if you want to follow that one. My new fitness IG is Christinafits. I chose this name because I want to fit whatever my goal is. I want to fit my own image of health and beauty. I want to stop looking at other people and then thinking that I am fat. Basically, I want to fit in with myself and not care if I fit in with everyone else. That sounds so simple but in fact, it will probably be the most difficult thing that I have ever done. If all goes well, I will hopefully start a YouTube channel after my wedding to document my journey. I need to see that I am doing something better. I can’t just look at pictures. Without further ado… here is a screenshot of my first photo for the new Instagram account. Completely stripped down and self-conscious. I’m working on changing my #selfconsciousselfie to #confidentselfie. Lets see how long it takes. Who’s with me?

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Week 4 Update

This morning while I was getting ready for work my son came and asked me to take a picture of him.

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The result is absolutely the most adorable thing I have seen all day long. As he gets closer and closer to turning 4 (September) he is becoming more polite and doing a much better job at following my instructions. It brings me peace because the last year or so has been a difficult time of him testing me multiple times. I love my son so much and his face just makes everything in my life perfect (even when he makes me feel crazy).

Today starts Week 4 of my personal eating challenge in which I set the following guidelines.

I will only have one cheat per week on each of the twelve weeks.

I am going to log all of my food in MFP – feel free to find me; cmarq01

Continue Facebook fitness challenges

Blog once per week on my progress and come clean if I have any struggles

So, I have yet to do all of these things in an entire week. This has not stopped me from continuing to do it. Today is the first day of Week 4 and I am going to do this. Yesterday I even did a pretty difficult workout with my fiancé (it feels so weird to type that word still, lol).

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We ran up a very steep hill (pushing my son in the jogging stroller) at Iroquois Park and at the top of the hill there is a playground and a basketball court. When we reached the top of the hill we let my son play on the playground and we used the equipment to do 5 sets of 10 Pull-ups (modified for me, I have reached ‘real’ pull-up status quite yet), push-ups and dips. Our arms were killing us when we were done. We took a short break and allowed my son to run around and play a bit more and then headed back down the hill. I couldn’t get my run keeper app to act right the second time which is why the distance is less and the speed slower than the first run up hill.

Following the run we did have pizza. Yep, I ate it, enjoyed it and then when I got home I prepped my healthy breakfast and lunch for the day and kept it moving. I know I could have made a different choice and I should have but sometimes, pizza happens.

I’ll be heading to the gym after work for another round of working out unless the weather is nice and in that case I will go home and go for a run outside. I prefer that over the gym any day! I am always more active in the warmer months because I love being active and spending time in the sun.

Have you had warm weather lately? What is your favorite workout routine?

12 Week Update

Well hello there friends. It’s Tuesday and it is a workday so let’s just move forward and talk about how I’m doing on my challenge. To recap, here are the goals that I set for myself in this fun little challenge.

  • I will only have one cheat per week on each of the twelve weeks.
  • I am going to log all of my food in MFP – feel free to find me; cmarq01
  • Continue Facebook fitness challenges
  • Blog once per week on my progress and come clean if I have any struggles

So last week I had life happen to me on Wednesday. I can tell you that I did an amazing job following my eating plan through the entire day on Tuesday and Wednesday until the evening. I met with a wellness coach that I have at work and we talked about the goals that I have in life and what keeps me from reaching my goals(emotional eating/not eating). I found out some pretty difficult information that I prefer not to share on the blog at this time Wednesday evening. I was caught pretty off guard and actually forgot to eat dinner. I say that but I really just didn’t even try to. I fed my son so I clearly knew that it was time to eat but the thought of it just wouldn’t allow me to do it.

I couldn’t really sleep all night and when the morning came I was still just angry. It was weird because I didn’t actually feel any emotions I was just mad and had a bit of rage in my heart. I took a bite of a granola bar in an attempt to eat and tried to eat lunch again. When dinner came it was the same thing. The following day I managed to make myself eat a couple of bites of food but not really enough to matter. I know in my mind that if I don’t eat it will eventually cause weight gain from my body going into starvation mode so I consciously make the choice to eat something.

By Saturday I was feeling slight improvement but still only able to eat very small portions. That night I was able to get some rest and my appetite crept back that day. The food that I was eating wasn’t healthy but since I hadn’t really eaten much my stomach has shrunk a little bit.

I didn’t work out one time last week. I’m very disappointed in that aspect as well. I logged my food the beginning of the week and fell off when I wasn’t really eating.

Week 1 was crap. Week 1 is usually my best but I will accept the fact that it was not and move forward on my good choice that I have made so far this week. I’m not going to let that hold me back. It has further made me realize that I need to continue to work with my wellness coach on how to be better and ways to handle stress and high emotional points.

I’ll be back next week with another post and to tell you how great I nailed it this week! Have a great Tuesday my friends.

Self-improvement in just 12 Weeks

Today is the first day of 84 days that I will be choosing to put my healthy eating habits first. When I look at that number I feel a bit of anxiety. That is a long time to stick with healthy habits but I want to change permanently so I need to do this. I am going to do it one day at a time. I woke up this morning with a positive mentality knowing that I can crush this! It is going to have to be a daily choice. At the end of each day I will try to write down any challenges I faced and if was able overcome them or if I gave in. This will help me see what actually causes me to give in.

I logged my breakfast in My Fitness Pal this morning and thankfully I have been pretty busy so I have not been tempted to do any other eating out of boredom. I feel really good about doing this and I am not going to let myself quit. No matter what. I am not going to quit. Too often I give up on myself because it is the easiest thing to let go when times are stressful. I can’t do that to myself anymore. Time is a precious thing to waste and I have done plenty of that in my life. Every minute counts.

Time really does go by so quickly. When I am feeling like I can’t continue this journey any longer I just need to remember that 84 days will be over before I know it and at the end of it all I will feel better. I will feel better about myself, I will have more energy, I will not be as tired as I have been.

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What can you change in 84 Days? How can you improve your life?

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12 Week Challenge

Twelve weeks is a long time to stick to something. It is the amount of time that I need to prove to myself that I can do it. Twelve weeks is so intimidating and looking at it now I don’t know how I will be able to do it. I have no choice. I will succeed and complete this.
12 WeekThe details of the 12 weeks are as follows.

This challenge will start on February 24th and it will end on May 18th.

I will only have one cheat per week on each of the twelve weeks.

I am going to log all of my food in MFP – feel free to find me; cmarq01

Continue Facebook fitness challenges

Blog once per week on my progress and come clean if I have any struggles

That is basically it. I am not going to set to many restrictions or too many specific details because at the end of the 12 weeks I hope to be at the point of sustainability. I want this to result in a life change that I am comfortable living with. I want to feel healthy I want my son to grow up with healthy eating habits and to form a positive relationship with food. This will be the most challenging 12 weeks of my life. I owe it to myself. I need to see what I am capable of and finally dedicate some time to me and my body.

12 week.1I am so afraid that I will fail but I have to give my whole effort on this. I need this. Have you ever felt fear in completing a goal that you set for yourself?

Happy Goal Year!

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Since it is almost the end of the second week of January, I believe it is a good time to finally set some goals for my life. Every one of you have always been so supportive and I appreciate any accountability you can offer me as well.

1. Create a dang budget and stick to it

2. Drop 20 lbs before my 30th birthday ( I know, I can’t believe I will be thirty either)

3. Do a random act of kindness once per month (minimum)

4. Create a business plan and begin executing

Number one is the most important to me this year. I really need to stay focused on what my goals are and not get sidetracked by senseless spending. I’m working on a list of things I will stop spending money on and allowing myself a certain amount of fun money so that I don’t blow my budget to pieces.

Number two (not the poop kind) is something that has been lingering for the past two-ish years. I just have to stick to it and not let cheese get the best of me. I’m going to log my food daily, register for more races, and be consistent with my workouts.

Number three came about because I have been working on my attitude towards others. This started after my son was born when I decided that I didn’t want to be viewed as ‘mean’ anymore. Really I don’t think I was ever mean, just kind of standoffish. Last year I wrote 30 thank you cards to people in my life that positively impacted me. While it was very time consuming, it was also very rewarding. I feel that it is important to let people know how they have been important to your life while we still have the chance.

The random acts of kindness haven’t been planned out but I am going to do them for people that I know and strangers as well. The people that I know aren’t going to know that it came from me however. I don’t want to get anything from it other than knowing that I did something for someone else.

Number four is kind of scary to me. I haven’t really told anyone what it is that I have in mind because I am afraid of failing. This fear has kind of kept me from being able to even start putting my ideas in writing. I think I will have a busy year but if I start planning than this time next year I can start executing if I haven’t already done that by summer time.

2015 is the year that I turn 30 years old. It is the year for me to stop being afraid of strangers and afraid of doing something great. Join me on my adventure!

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Check out that forehead though! lol. Thanks for stopping by.

*Christina

Not so fitness

Tuesdays were the days that I was posting about fitness. Well, in case you haven’t noticed someone has been a bit of a slacker in many aspects of life. And by someone I mean the person typing this blog; and that person would be me. So I worked out a solid one time last week and it was epic! Yay, Christina ate a ton of unhealthy food at the 4 billion Christmas parties at work and then busted out a 45 minute workout to try and balance out life. If I am correct the scoreboard should look a little something like this.

Christina 1 – Calories 120,000

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I think that pretty much sums up how I feel about getting any workouts in the last week and a half. It kind of makes me feel a bit sad but then a wise man told me…

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I mean, that’s a pretty valid point. So then I got to thinking of a resolution to my issue with food and working out lately and I came up with an incredible idea.

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Honestly, isn’t returning something you did not end up liking as much as you thought you would part of the America way? After all of this thinking I really needed to use the restroom (I learn my greatest lessons in the bathroom).

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After this I was in the best possible mood and ready to conquer life. I was especially thankful that all of my horrible eating had not yet translated into breaking the scale. This also means that my poor fitness and health decisions are happening at the perfect time. I feel a resolution coming on in a week or so! Happy Tuesday/Eve of Christmas Eve