30 Days until I Do

In exactly one month from today I will be getting married. When I look back at the day we got engaged I am amazed at how quickly the time has gone bay. I couldn’t imagine being at this point. There is so much going on, so much planning, so much organizing and it is all so much fun and so stressful! I always knew that I was a bit of a control freak and now I can tell that it is absolutely horrible. My fiancé has been the biggest help and when I give him things to do, I have a hard time just letting him handle it. Except the cake, I don’t care what happens with the cake. I don’t really like cake that much and I trust that at the end of it all, he will order a cake that looks like a cake and people will eat it.

I can say that I am ready for September 5th to be here. I am ready to share that amazing day with all of the people in our lives that love and support us. I am ready to just celebrate the start of our marriage. I am also terrified. I know that marriage is a lot of hard work. I feel like admitting that you are scared is something that most people frown upon. I’m not worried that I am making a mistake. I’m absolutely terrified to get divorced. I don’t want it at all. My mom just got married for the 4th time this year. My aunt and grandmother both have been married at least 3 times. The women in my family struggle with marriage while the men seem to get married and stay married. I don’t blame the women for not being successful. They left those marriages for good reasons. Some of the marriages should not have happened and I knew that the minute I was told a wedding would happen.

I have never been married, my fiancé has never been married. We agree that divorce is not an option. Although, I have stated that if he ever cheated on me or became abusive in any manner that I would leave. I have just heard so many stories about people becoming complete strangers once they are married. It scares me. We do have God as the foundation of our marriage. We are still going through some intensive pre-marital counseling. The preparation is there and I think that we have everything we need to succeed.

I just wanted to come out and be honest about how I felt. I’m more excited than I have ever been to marry the greatest man that I have ever met. A man that loves my son as his own. A man that loves me and my family unconditionally. A man that wants the same things in life that I want. I know that we will get it wrong sometimes. I know we will still hurt each other. I also know that we will love each other no matter the obstacle. I’m ready for this covenant. I’m ready to unite with him for the rest of our lives. I’m ready.



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