Man, I have been absent for quite sometime. It turns out that a week off from blogging really meant a month. My life has been anything but a routine lately. I have had more to do in the last month than I have had to do in the last 4 years of my life. Everything is changing and it is happening pretty quickly. I am excited and terrified all at the same time. I am very optimistic about the future and I know that everything I am investing in my life will be beneficial.
In short, I have been working on my own personal relationship with the Lord, while working on being engaged and planning a wedding. If you have read my blog since the beginning you have seen many posts that are pretty negative and seem like I have no idea what I am even doing in life. I still don’t really have everything together. I have realized that I can’t do this life thing on my own. I can’t get through the tough times and the worry that I face on a pretty consistent basis without faith. For a long time I was focused. I knew where I was going and my faith was very important to me. It never really stopped being important, it just became secondary. My personal wants and needs were first. It was all about me.
I have since been brought back to the realization that I need Christ in my life. I have to have him to be alright. Without that, I am really nothing. Not one person in this world can make me feel like no matter what happens; everything will be alright. I will still encounter hard times but knowing that my time on this earth is temporary and when that passes away I will be in a better place is really all the promise that I need.
I know what some of you may be thinking…. Christians are out of touch, judgmental, and think they know everything. It is a horrible reputation that I hate exists. Let me be the first to tell you, I am not perfect and will never be. I expect perfection from no one and neither does God. We are saved by grace and therefore no amount of actions or works that we do will ever make any of us better than the other.
This doesn’t mean that I will always talk about my faith and that is the only thing that exists in the world. It is very important to me and I will talk about it as well. I still plan to post about fitness, beauty products, my engagement, my little adorable son, and even laugh at Kanye from time to time.
The most beautiful thing about being saved is knowing that there isn’t anything I can do to ever lose the love that Jesus has for me. Even if today my fiancé decided that he didn’t want to be with me any longer because of my unrealistic ideas and unpredictable mood swings, I know that I will be alright because I have Jesus.
I hope you will stick around. I hope we can be friends still. I’m still a sinner and will definitely make mistakes because perfection isn’t possible. I’m human. That even means that I will probably post about being sad sometimes. I still have periods so we all know I am going to cry at least one whole week out of the month.
On another note… here are some of our engagement pictures. I hope you enjoy them. How have you guys been doing? I sure miss you!