Things looking a little better around these parts aye? Can you believe that I finally updated my blog design? I did it myself so I still have many other things that I need to work on adding/adjusting but overall I think I am going to enjoy this new layout for awhile. Not to mention, I am sure that it is much easier on those eyeballs (truth be told I had ‘eyelids’ here at first, a genius I am!).
Last night I was fighting off hunger cravings something fierce! Since my personal 12 week challenge started yesterday I realize that this first week will be rough. I have to retrain my mind to know that it is not ok to drink 17 Cherry Cokes per day and eat pizza 4-5 times per week. I have to allow time for my body to no longer ‘crave’ those things as well. I never really fall off of the work-out train but eating right has always been a challenge for me. What can I say? I freakin’ love cheese!
Depriving myself of the foods that I love and hold dear to my precious taste buds makes me think negatively about other things in life. It also makes evaluate every single choice that I have/am making because I am cruel to myself and typically try to kick my own butt when I am down. It has taken many of my friendships YEARS to get to the place where I no longer worry if someone is my friend or if they are just using me for personal gain. My trust issues run deep people! It can be a burden when trying to start anything new in life. I am always thinking something negative. I am working on thinking more positively about others and about myself.
In a way, food has been something that I struggle to master because it does make me feel better for a moment when I am upset or when things are not in my control. It has been a comfort to me in times when I just wanted to feel better or feel distracted. I very rarely drink alcohol so I made the excuse that food could be the one thing that I ‘deserved’. I would rationalize my unhealthy eating habits by saying ” I don’t drink, smoke, or do drugs so I should be able to have Cheetos and Dr. Pepper. Instead of a glass of wine after a long day at work, I would enjoy some Funyuns and a 12 oz can of carbonated toxins. Irrational thinking and irrational behavior.
Everyone’s body reacts differently to what you ingest and mine typically likes to store every ounce of unhealthiness. I don’t eat large portions of food very often because I know that the unhealthy eating is already going to have a negative impact. Honestly, sometimes it is hard to see other women that can eat whatever they want and still have a nice figure. The important thing that I need to focus on is my body, my journey. Comparing myself to other women will not change anything about me and it doesn’t make me feel good. It causes more poor choices and lowers my confidence in truly being able to reach my health goals.
I’m pretty nervous about my approaching period because that is when the cravings are out in full force. They are pretty relentless if I might add. I may just end up using Kim Kardashian crying GIFs just to get through the week.
Thank you for sticking around. Thank you for being such a supportive community. I truly appreciate the ability to be transparent and not feel judged for stating my true feelings. Let’s move on and have a great Wednesday! #PostiveHastags