Yesterday I made plans to go to the gym right after work. I absolutely did not want to have anything to do with that idea when it was time to physically go. I tried to think of every reason why I should not go; so many excuses were running through my head. I have to fold laundry, the attic needs to be cleaned out, I’m hungry, etc. Then, the other part of my brain forced me into walking over. My employer has a gym that is in the bottom of the parking garage so I basically have no valid reason to avoid going. Oh yea, and it is free.
When I walked into the gym I still had those negative feelings. I didn’t want to be there. I went into the locker room and took my time changing trying to decide why I was even in there. I wanted to go home. Someone even complemented my red hair (I love compliments from strangers) and I couldn’t get my attitude in check.
It had been awhile since I have ran so I knew that I needed to get on the treadmill just to make sure I was still capable. The entire time I was running that mile I wanted to stop. I walked for about 30 seconds and then I ran the remaining of the first 5 minutes on 6.0. After that I increased the speed every minute by .5 ultimately capping out at 7.5. I had to slow back down to 7.0 a time or two but I didn’t stop. I finished that mile in 9.40 minutes. My legs hurt but I was proud that I didn’t stop and elated that I still could run a mile without stopping.
After I had my son I could only run 2 blocks before I had to stop. One would think those hard times would be motivation enough, but it isn’t. My goal is to make sure I can still run 3.1 miles (5K) on the treadmill by the first week of February. I am going to do more 5K’s this year and I want to be prepared.
After my short run I still didn’t feel like working out and I wanted to just go play with some weights and ‘pretend’ to work out but I knew I wouldn’t be giving my full effort. I decided to do a mile on the elliptical with the incline at 8 and the resistance at 10. That mile sucked pretty bad as the mental anguise continued but I finished it. Once my workout was complete (even though I feel that I should have done more) I was ready to go. It wasn’t until I was leaving the locker room that I finally felt good about my workout and happy that I did it. My thoughts were so negative the entire time that I brought myself down pretty low.
Working out is a complete mental game for me. I have to shut my mind off in order to get a good workout in or the negative self-talk will cause doubt and tell me to just go home. I am really going to have to force myself to get consistent with my workouts again. I know that I can do it and I know that I want to do it. I just have to convince the part of me that is a hater to shut the hell up. I think I’m going to post my workout summaries on Instagram like I did about two years ago. It gave me some extra accountability and I felt as thought I was ‘checking in’. If you follow me then get ready to see my sweaty face, if not feel free to follow along on @cmarq01.
As you can see in the picture I was still pretty pissed about the entire workout having to happen and I had yet to feel the effects of the endorphins. I am going to keep the goals that I set for myself this year. I need to speak it into my life so that I feel more obligated to do it. Here is an example of my new-found self-control. This morning I was so close to ordering something online. I had a cart full of clothes that I want so bad! I even switched things out to make the total cheaper. Then I thought about it, I’m trying to pay off debt and that will not happen without discipline. I clicked the little red X and I left that website in a hurry. Baby steps.
Do you struggle with motivation? How do you get ready for a workout? Are you still in line to accomplish your goals?