I shot a cop..with my eyeballs

You know that Friday is going to be amazing when you start the morning off be mean mugging a cop. It is no secret that I have a slight problem with other people driving at the same time as me. I mean honestly, there is enough time in the day for everyone to sit at home and wait for me to arrive at my destination… right? I feel that I am special and should have the road to myself of course. So obviously this is not realistic.

I do not recommend shooting a police officer with your meanest angry eyes first thing in the morning no matter how much he/she deserves it. There may be consequences. Even if those are just made up scenarios in your mind of all the violent YouTube videos you watch late at night when you can’t sleep. Let me break this story down for you.

This fellow decided that he wanted to get into my lane right where I was currently driving. Hello! We both can’t fit. He didn’t even use a turn signal. I mean, I am guilty of being to lazy to hit that stick and signal, but come on! You are supposed to follow all laws! You actually know what they are, duh! So, after I didn’t break to let him over because I was consumed with rage, and had now entered competition mode in which you have to prove how bad you want this spot; like you would have to literally hit my car to get over here. I looked over my left shoulder, made eye contact and I shot him with my eyeballs. If you have never seen evil hate eyes than you are lucky. I’ve yet to see it either but I’ve been told that it can make 300 pound line men pee their pants.

I immediately regret that decision. I am terrified of all police officers; even if they are wrong they are not wrong because they are the cops and their word is typically held above anything a citizen would say unless you have video evidence. This video must also include his mom holding his birth certificate, social security card, and every school picture he has taken from pre-school to the police academy and a selfie they took together prior to said incident occurring. Evidence is a subjective.

He did get behind me and merge into the far right lane and turned. Thankfully he didn’t pull me over and accuse me of any illegal traffic violations to which I am sure there had to be at least one I committed. I really should go to law school, maybe just for informational purposes only. Back to the story at hand.

The lesson for today is, don’t let other drivers (cops or not) know when they have effected you. Don’t be like me! I let all things traffic related ruin my mood. Actually, there are many things that can ruin my mood in an instant but traffic is the number one fun killer. Thankfully I get over things really quickly once I vent. While this is great for me it is not great for people that are close to me because they may not get over it as quickly as me.  I have a tendency to let my mood rub off on others and I hate that! I’ve got to get my attitude together.

On that note, have a Happy Halloween Friends! Stay safe out there!


8 thoughts on “I shot a cop..with my eyeballs

  1. oh jeepers, you crazy thing! i know too many crazy road rage stories so I just keep my crazy mean eyes to myself. thank goodness nothing happened to you, though i hate that cops think they can do whatever they want on the road, not fair!

  2. LOL, I’m the same way. I have this nasty habit of flipping the bird to anyone who pisses me off. It hasn’t gotten me in trouble yet, but I imagine one day it’s going to comme back and bite me in the ass.

  3. hope this one didn’t try to run u over with their trailer also. people really should just clear the road when either of us our driving…its the only thing that makes sense.

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