Attitude Adjustment

At this moment, I have decided that I am going to chase after what I want. I’m going to put myself first. Try to calm my mind from constantly racing and worrying over everything. Even typing this brings tears to my eyes because it scares me. I am intimidated by my own potential and if I weren’t wearing mascara and eyeliner right now I probably wouldn’t even try so hard to fight it off.

I woke up rather early this morning, my mind overflowing with thoughts. Sometimes I think it has been easier for me to focus my attention elsewhere. Yesterday I read a post that Aisha wrote a post about “A lie list”. After reading it I felt the need to think through my own lies. The ones that I carry around with me and bring me down. Many of the lies started from something someone else did and time and life bred them into something else; something larger. Self-hate.

Forgiveness can be the best tool when trying to get past an event or a negative word that planted a seed within you that resulted in a lie that we believe. For me, I like to portray my strength to others, especially women. I like to seem like I am not affected by many of the negative things in life. The truth is, I am very sensitive and emotional. While that does not mean that I am not strong, it makes it hard for me to sometimes see clearly.

I do think that it is true that we teach people how to treat us. I think I have allowed many to take advantage of me and allowed the lies into my life. I block people out and put up walls or become dismissive because it is easier for me. I don’t want to do that.

One major lie that I believe about myself is that I am not kind. I am surprised when people tell me that they think I am nice, or sweet. I try to be, but I don’t really think that I am. I want to feel what others see in me. I think it will help me in other aspects as well.

Here are some goals that I have set to try to smash some of the lies I tell myself and to try to spread love and kindness.

*Complement a stranger everyday

*Offer assistance to someone that I ordinarily would just pass by

*Make donations in time, material items, or money to local charities

It is a short list but a nice start. What do you lies do you believe about yourself? In addition, Aisha and Jena have a weekly link-up on Thursday’s and they are starting a conversation on blogs and on Twitter using #YourAttitudeMatters. I am working on changing my attitude toward myself and others. Join us now!

Let Your Light Shine
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4 thoughts on “Attitude Adjustment

  1. This is so awesome! I am so glad you tried out the lie list. We begin to believe lies about ourselves and get so used to them that we don’t consider them lies anymore.

    Forgiveness is so important… but it can be hard. One thing I always remind myself is that forgiveness is a choice, not a feeling or temporary action.

    I love the start of your goals. I can’t wait to see how they come along! 🙂 🙂

    Thanks for linking up 🙂

    -Aisha

    • I think you are very kind! I agree that the times that I am mean are definitely a defense mechanism. I push people away very quickly sometimes. I’m not as bad as I was in my early 20s. Improvement.

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