Nightmares pt. 2

If you haven’t read part one to this story you can click here to get caught up. It has taken some time in between because I hate talking about this. However, it is Domestic Violence Awareness month so I figured I should write more about it and hopefully wrap my story up before the month is over.

Her son is now one month old. She is more connected to her child than to anything else in this world. The love and protection she wants to provide is unlike any other feeling she has had. He is the only peace she feels as she tries to navigate in this toxic and dangerous relationship. Inside she knows that it is over but she has not come up with a safe plan to escape it.

One evening her close friend asks her to run to the store with her. She asks her son’s father to watch him for a brief moment at her house while she runs to the store. For some reason he is upset but doesn’t say anything. She leaves with her friend and comes back. They sit in her bedroom and watch the Lion King with her young son as he naps and they sing the songs together. His father comes back into the room aggressively making demands. For some reason any memory of how the events start is erased, only recollections of the moments once the violence begins.

Her friend concerned for the safety of everyone says she is going to call the police. Christina doesn’t know what to do, nothing violent has happened yet however his shouting and threats are terrifying to most while she is numb to them. Trying to contain the situation she calls his mother and hopes that she will be able to calm the situation; she sends his grandmother. Once the grandmother arrives her friend leaves. At this point he has taken the baby from her and will not let her hold him. He tells her that he will let her know when she can have him back. His grandmother does nothing, almost as though we should not try to intervene, not object.

His grandmother plans to stay the night, everyone tries to go to sleep. Christina pretends to sleep waiting for the moment to grab her son as it has now been over four hours since the standoff began. As she reached for the baby and tried to grab him, his father jumped up and grabed her. He shoved her out of the room shouting at her “You stupid bitch. I didn’t tell you to touch my son.” He said it over and over and she dropped to her knees begging for this to stop, pleading for her son. He got more angry and pinned her to the floor with his hands gripping her throat so tight. She could hear his grandmother shouting at him to stop. He finally let go. She tried to find her phone. She had to call the police. Her phone was missing. His grandmother would not allow her to use her phone instead asking Christina just let him calm down.

The baby awoke and she was allowed to feed the baby. He watched her every move. His grandmother stayed at her house for three days as he would not leave and anytime Christina tried to use they phone they watched every move she made. When they finally left she was afraid to tell anyone. He said he would kill her and her newborn child… Would he?

Some time passed with more struggles between the two of them. Each time Christina choosing to not notify anyone. The fear was so real that she could not get up. Her mouth was sealed from speaking the truth to anyone. She would pray every night for him to be removed from her life. She would be alone forever rather than live like this anymore. She felt so helpless, useless even.

Fast-forward.. her son is almost three months old. So small, so precious, everything to her. It’s the day after Christmas. She is lying on the couch with her son resting peacefully on her chest. In he comes, no words uttered. He grabs the baby in his sleep and heads into her room. The baby wakes up and is crying so loud and so painful almost as if he could feel the pain his mother was experiencing inside. She asked for the baby back. He replied ” You will have to call the cops to get him back.” This time, she did exactly what he said. She remained calm while on the phone with the dispatcher. As she was on the phone, he put the baby in his swing. Christina thought maybe it was over. She was wrong.

Once she hung up the phone, he lunged at her. Tossing her around the living room and yelling at the same time “If you tell them what happened I will kill you and the baby.” She could hear her son’s cries and it felt like she was dying inside. He grabbed her by the hair and threw her to the floor. Continuing to demand that she not say anything once the police arrived. He snatched her off of the floor, threw her into a pile of boxes and then onto the couch. He grabbed her by her wrists and pinned her on the couch. Once again shouting the threats if she tells them what happened. She kept wishing help would arrive quickly. Finally it did. His mother showed up at the same time as he called her as soon as Christina opened the door.

The first officer to arrive heard the shouting and wanted Christina to step outside. She did not want to leave her baby in the house. The officer told her firmly to just get outside. Another officer arrived and went in the house. She told the officer what happened and about the threats that were made. He was not very compassionate and appeared to be inconvenienced by the situation. She was allowed back in the house where she went straight to her son. His grandmother was holding him in the kitchen, trying to calm him. Once Christina had him in her arms he stopped crying.

She returned to the living room as the other officer took photos of the physical injures. As the pictures were being taken, her son’s father was still degrading her; in front of everyone. They told him to put his shoes on. His mother asked if he was being arrested. She became visibly upset by this. Christina knew that this would not make things any better and was fearful for what may come. Since his family were the only ones who knew what was really going on she felt alone, helpless, and stupid.

He was arrested, and bailed out all within 24 hours by his mother.

A temporary protective order was put into place until his court date arrived. Three weeks.

I’ll stop here for now and pick back up another time. This never gets easier to write and many details are left out as each incident could be a post in itself.

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9 thoughts on “Nightmares pt. 2

  1. Thank you for writing this – I am sure there is someone out there reading your story and it is giving them the strength they need to leave.
    I know this was several years ago and clearly your son is not 3 months old anymore 😉 but I just wanted to say.. I don’t know really – I know it never gets easier. My father was an abusive alcoholic and he hit my mum and me and I don’t think it’s something I’ll ever ‘get past’ you know? I’m so far removed from it, but it’s always there, in my head.

    • I’m sorry that you had to go through that with your father. As you said, it never goes away and it creates a fear that can’t be explained to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. I do hope that sharing it will help someone in any way.. not to mention, it helps me by getting it all out there.

  2. Oh you brave, brave girl. Someone is going to find this post, someone who is scared to go to sleep for fear of what may happen to her, and realize she’s not alone, and find strength to get out of the terrible situation. Thank you for putting this out there

  3. Pingback: Nightmares Pt. 3 | Sold Out Arenas

  4. Pingback: Monday Morning, Grammy’s, Domestic Violence | Sold Out Arenas

  5. Pingback: Domestic Violence: Surviving and Moving on | Sold Out Arenas

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