Humpday Confessions

CAUTION: This post contains expletives that have been copied from a popular website. If you do not like those words than I would ask that you please exit. Thank you.

Wednesday means we get to confess some random things to one another and not feel so alone in the crap that makes us crazy.

I like to look at urbandictionary.com for a good laugh. They have a word of the day and are even kind enough to use it in a cleaver sentence to help  you out. This is from yesterday.

The brown touch

When everything you touch turns to shit.
“Mike’s wrecked his third car in a year and lost his job and his girl. He’s got the brown touch.”

 

urban

 

The next one I found quite hilarious. If you are easily offended than this is not for you. If you do not like cursing than this is not for you.

 

The most used word in the whole fucking universe. Douche bags use it, your kids use it, your mail man uses it, and your fucking dog uses it. If you got swag, you generally wear those shitty hats side way, and your ass hanging out like a fucking goof cause your pants are half way down your white ass legs. To break down the word, it means (Secretly We Are Gay). It is also a word that means to represent yourself/ the way you represent yourself, baggy clothes, shitty hats, small penis and basically a way to say your afraid to come out of the closet.
Assface Magee: I got so much swag
Darrel: You got so much dick in your ass
Assface Magee: Fuck you, SWAG

 

urban.1

 

There are also several definitions for every some of the words. Here are the different variations for the word “celebrity”.

 

simply put…absofuckinlutley useless in everyway shape or form. they do nothing for the economy except spend our hard earned money. we could definitley do better without them around
normal person: “sir can you help me i’ve been shot in the stomach by a rapper, and i’m beleeding to death.”
celebrity: “and what…get my armani dirty…dude wipe up your blood and get away from my bentley before i call the police and have you arrested for article 108.376-any attempt to get any celebrity to do anything productive shall be punished by death”

 

“Anyone with a Simpsons caricature.
“Mel Gibson officially became a celebrity with his appearance on The Simpsons…”

 

urban.2

 

You can also look up your own name and either be an amazing person or a horrible person depending on which definition you read. Here are a few of mine.

 

The coolest, cutest, nicest girl ever. With the best personality, also very quick witted and very smart. Everyone should get to meet her at least once.
“Everyone loves Christina.”

 

Christina

A shy girl at first, but once you get to know her she opens up. Friendship means very much to her and will be there if needed. She loves her family and all those close to her. Funny and very smart. Loves sports, movies, and arts. A born nurturer. Cute and fun.
“I would love to have a friend named Christina.”

 

A smart girl with no common sense but is smart and funny and has great “what in the world?” momments.
She can’t make good hot chocolate.
SHE IS THE CRAZIEST THING ALIVE!
“Wow she christina is retarted.”

 

urban.3

 

Finally, I looked up my favorite topics of all time. PMS and Periods.

 

PMS

A powerful spell that women are put under about once every month, which gives them the strength of an ox, the stability of a Window’s OS, and the scream of a banshee. Basically, man’s worst nightmare.
“OMFG! SHE HAS PMS!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!!!” *explosions and screams*

 

PMS

Pre-Menstrual Syndrome

The woman’s “time of the month” when her uterus sheds its lining because her monthly egg isn’t fertilized and dies.

The worst time to be around a woman, because she becomes an irrational psycho bitch which froths at the mouth with rage and seeks to destroy anything which stands in her way.

“I’d rather be in Hell than to be around a woman with PMS.”

innate bitchiness of a woman between age 9 and age 56 just before her period
they call it PMS because the expression Mad Cow was already taken

 

urban.5

 

A time where the world turns against you, and nobody does anything right. Where women get to scream, and be as bitchy as possible. Basically, a whole weeks worth of anger, midol, pain, much time spent for bathroom breaks, and checking your ass every second to see if your covered.
“How was your day?”
“Oh great.. Mother nature brought me my period.. bitch”
Mandatory hell. Cause of penis envy.
if you dont like it, men, go fuck yourselves.

 

urban.4

 

I hope this post wasn’t a complete waste of your time. I love visiting the website and hope that you do also. Thanks for stopping by and don’t forget to check out the link up.
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12 thoughts on “Humpday Confessions

    • Oh yea. Many times, I think I know the meaning to a slang word only to be completely wrong about it. Good thing I don’t use it too often in my regular vocabulary. Thanks for stopping by.

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