Confidence: a feeling or belief that you can do something well or succeed at something; a feeling or belief that someone or something is good or has the ability to succeed at something; the feeling of being certain that something will happen or that something is true. (definition complements of Webster’s dictionary)
Do you have confidence in yourself? in others? What influences your confidence? There are many influencers that can give and/or take confidence. I consider myself a pretty confident person. I know that if I want to do something or get something done that it will happen. The effort needed is dependent upon the task of course and at times the means necessary to complete it. I’m actually more interested in how people that we do not even know can affect how we feel. Also, the aspects of our lives that we shield from the world.
Think about the first topic. Someone or a group that you have never met in your entire life can affect how YOU feel. Scrolling through Instagram on a sleepless night and seeing someone posting photos of perfect hair, makeup, body, friends, family, fitness, or their career. You begin to feel inadequate. Use these as inspiration or motivation but never as a standard to which you are trying to reach. That means their is a place where you can be complacent.
One thing. In ALL social media. Everyone has something that they are not happy about. You are like Rapunzel, seeing the world through a small window without any knowledge of the real world. There are many situational differences in all people. There are the chronic victims on Facebook that post about all things terrible in their lives. There are the extreme perfectionists that are never flawed. Then, there are people like me. I don’t really post enough for anyone to gauge how my life is or is not going. I can tell you this, if I post something negative then I’m either drunk and on my period (highly unlikely considering I have only drank wine twice this year.) or someone got access to my account.
I’ve told you more through my blog than I will ever put on social media. Does that make sense? Not really…. I started this blog because I needed a place to get my words out and to share. I am a writer, not professionally.. yet. Additionally, I have had many experiences as a woman that have been both difficult and uplifting. Truth is, I have a hard time connecting with people that have similar experiences as me. Especially since I don’t like being categorized with other people. I look at what they have experienced and somehow separate myself. I think it is just denial. I like people to perceive me as a strong, confident, and able to overcome all obstacles. Key word. Perceive. As though I am hiding the other aspects of life that make me, me.
This blog is really helping me become more comfortable with having Epilepsy and telling people about it. Sometimes people are afraid to be around me when they find out that I have Epilepsy and that is ok. Seeing someone have a seizure can be frightening. I have a friend with Epilepsy and I saw her have a seizure. It is hard to see someone you care about go through any medical hardship. At one point I was in the Epilepsy monitoring unit at the hospital and they caught a seizure on video and I asked to see it. Terrifying! I can only imagine how others felt seeing this happen. You can read other posts about my life with Epilepsy here, here, and here .
I have experienced domestic violence. I HATE telling people about this. I don’t like when people look at me with sad eyes and feel sorry for me. For some reason it makes me feel weak. I understand that none of it was my fault. I became so passive at that time and that is not something I have ever been. Talk about losing confidence. The important thing is that I got out, and I got my confidence back. Sharing these stories is empowering. I want to help other people. I need to relate to people who have shared these experiences because no one can understand if they haven’t lived it. I have only posted once on this subject, you can read that here .
I like to be funny on this blog and make people laugh more than anything. Humor is always my go to when I’m sad or someone else is feeling low. Building true confidence in yourself and your abilities is necessary to being happy. Don’t get me wrong, no one will be happy all the time. The goal is to be able to look at yourself and see the good, instead of critiquing and comparing yourself to others. After all, everyone just wants to be loved and accepted. You should first, love and accept yourself. Not just for the highlights; but for moments when you felt tied down and unable to stand tall.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” -Dr. Seuss. Direct, and straight to the point. Confidence takes time to build and requires accepting yourself. You are not the mistakes you have made, you are not the events you have experienced. Those are a part of your story but they do not have to be the definition of your life. You control that and that’s what is beautiful.
Everyone needs someone, if you feel like you have no one, then guess what… you have me. If you don’t feel comfortable commenting you can always email me. I don’t have all the answers but I have been told “You’re so wise. You’re like a miniature Buddha covered in hair.” Alright, that was a quote from Anchorman but I have had it said to me a time or two so you know its real.
Enjoy pre-Friday and get ready for the weekend. Make someone else smile; guaranteed to make you smile! Stay tuned next week when I return to scholarly topics such as periods and defecating. I know you are excited.