I feel like I’m a competent, wise woman that can think pretty rationally in most situations. Then suddenly when I least expect it, someone tells me that I need to move my meeting that was scheduled from 10 to 10:30 and I feel an eruption beneath my eyelids of tears that are about to shoot from my tear ducts at any given moment.
Do they not think my time is valuable? I could have done my entire day differently (even though I probably would not have) had I known that the time would be different. Why are people so inconsiderate? Is your time more valuable than my time? You think I am just sitting around waiting for you all day like there is nothing more going on in life.
My friend tells me that she can no longer meet me at my house and ride to the park together but rather meet me there 3o minutes later. Malarkey! Do you hate me now? Are we not friends anymore? What did I do to you?
My son tries to avoid bedtime like he always does only this time I feel like I have a bomb in my chest that will explode if this kid does not go to sleep so mommy can have her 1.5 hours of alone time to do things in preparation for the next day. Then when he does fall asleep I look at his beautiful little face and start to tear up because I can’t believe how fast time has gone by and that soon my little boy will be taller than me and not want to hang out everyday.
My bf makes fun of the way I have structured a sentence or a slightly odd accent that randomly flew out of my mouth making me sound like I am fresh off the boat from Russia. Why is he being so mean to me? Everyone is so mean to me today. What did I do for everyone to just hate me all of sudden. No one loves me. My life is terrible.
Ugghh. All of the above are not exact scenarios but when I type them out I sound like a lunatic that loves to play the victim. It’s crazy because every other day of the month I am completely fine and nothing really gets to me. In fact, I welcome jokes that mock my very existence. Hey, if its good for a laugh I can take one for the team. No big deal. Why isn’t there some warning sign that it is the week before your period and you will all of a sudden turn into a maniac that could easily cry, scream, laugh, and confuse yourself all within two sentences.
Even when trying to explain myself during that time I don’t know what I am talking about. I listen to what I just said and I am like WTF? That doesn’t make sense at all. Then I have to go with it because I am too sensitive to even admit that I don’t know what I am talking about or why I am so upset. Also not really knowing if this is the precursor to my period or if I am in fact losing my mind.
I am living in this moment right now and all I can say is that this better be the storm before the flood because if it isn’t then I need to seek professional help immediately. I can’t live with this crazy person inside me. Who is she?
Please tell me I’m not the only crazy one in the world.
Next up is the binge eating and non-stop craving of chocolate that makes me feel that one day soon I will in fact be mistaken for Free Willy. My stomach becomes a bottomless pit and I don’t know what is going on inside there. How do other women eat healthy during their cycle when your minds telling you to eat chocolate dipped in left over bacon grease? I can’t. I just can’t with life right now. I want to all of the food and cry at all of the movies.
Am I alone in this?