Road Rage Love

I love other drivers. If we are stuck in traffic and you decide to drive in the lane that is ending only to cut my off at the last minute I won’t hate you. I will just take that as a challenge from you that you want to engage in combat to see if I am going to accept your turn signal as a request or a demand. I will always accept this challenge (when I am by myself and my son isn’t with me) and you will have to prove to me just how bad you want to cut me off.

You see, I am not going to fight for a spot in the lane I am already in so it is up to you to handle that. In my eyes, you will have to literally hit my car to get in front of me. Let’s be clear here, if you are following all traffic rules and are simply trying to get over as you are supposed to than 9 times out of 10 I will let you right on over without hesitation. I will even welcome your presence my in lane. Don’t forget to give me the wave though.

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Road rage used to be a struggle for me until I realized the best way to handle road rage is to be extremely happy and smiling at those who are most angry. They don’t expect that and it will confuse the driver (or enrage them). Take for example this morning… I was minding my own business in the right hand lane to turn on Broadway when all of a sudden this lady comes flying up with her turn signal on trying to get in front of all of the other vehicles that are in front of me; clearly they aren’t having it and neither am I. By the time she realizes that I have joined forces with my other road rule followers she is livid. She slams on her horn and reluctantly gets behind me (there were not any cars behind me). We then have to stop to yield to pedestrians crossing the street and my new best friend almost rear-ends me. She was going for some bonus points while trying to earn my love and affection.

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I look back at her in my rear view mirror to see the glorious parking permit hanging that is for the same garage I park in. Nothing better could have happened to anyone else. Now she has to follow me the entire way into the garage only she does not know this yet. The entire time I keep looking at her in my rear view mirror but her incredible hulk adrenalin must have worn off because I am getting no eye contact at this point. I just assume that she is saving it all for our in person interaction.

When we pull into the garage there are two lanes for entry and of course this fine citizen pulls up right next to me. I could not have asked for anything better. Finally she looks at me and I give her what she has been waiting for since we first fell in love when she honked her horn. A glimpse at my pearly whites with my Miss America wave. This did not have the intended affect as she simply rolled her eyes as we entered the garage. I know this is just how she expresses her love for others so I didn’t mind.

We parked on the same floor but I did not have time to tell her how to contact me to set up our first real date but I am sure she left a note on my car declaring her love for me. Either that or she keyed it but it all feels the same to me. It feels nice to have someone you just met care so deeply for your.

You see, when you are a former road rage addict then you know how to make people who still suffer even more angry by just being nice. They expect you to get mad but when you don’t you confuse them. I would not suggest doing what I do in all situations because people do carry weapons and while I may be pretty hard core I definitely ain’t bout that life.

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Hope you enjoyed your fabulous weekend friends!

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