I’ve tripped and almost fell in public at least twice in the last two months. The fact that I did not actually fall to the ground did not take away from the amusement that I brought to total strangers. Watching someone in the process of falling and as they continue to work so diligently to catch themselves is probably the best part. I like to be able to bring you joy no matter what risk of danger I may face. This is my JOB!
I walked into the ‘automatic door’ while attempting to go into the grocery store. I was not even texting, tweeting, scrolling Instagram, or reading Facebook at the time.. This is a case of my brain being too busy processing thoughts to realize that the door that has always opened on its own did not open and I just walked right into it; face first. I then proceeded to get very angry with the door and create a minor scene almost as if I had just gotten off my meds for the first time. As security began to head my way I quickly regained composure as to not be banned from the store. After all, it really was my own fault.
Texting while walking down the stairs has caused quite the little hiccup for me in the past week. If almost falling down the stairs was not enough of a deterrent I do not know what will be. I’m living my life on the edge people. Just let me be. If I want to fall down four flights of stairs so that I can have the battle wounds to show off to my friends and to disgust my Instragram followers with than that is my business. No need for a stranger to look out for my well being. I’m perfectly content living a life with a tiny amount of risk.
The day following a good leg workout I enjoy walking as fast as possible even though it makes me look like I have been riding a horse in the Kentucky Derby for about 4 days. Why? in the wise words of my son… because why not?
In addition to the leg issues, my arms do not know how long they are and in the 28 years that I have been on this earth I have not figured it out either. They are like to swinging pendulum’s and they will smack into anything that I walk past. A desk, wall, a person. No discrimination here. Do you know how many butts I have accidentally smacked? Me neither. All I can say is it is pretty awkward when you give grandpa a minor heart attack because he thinks the young office worker wants the ‘D’. All from an accidental butt rub. Calm down sir!!
May I also point out how crazy it is that my hands even look as nice as they do considering the torture I put them through on a daily basis. I am always up for any challenge and most dares because I want people to say that I am in fact ’bout that life’.
What do you do in public that brings joy to others? If you can’t think of anything than I suggest you take a stumble over the first sidewalk crack that your little eyes see. It’s just part of being a contributing citizen to the good ‘ol US of A.